The Unprotected Rib

I need you to take a deep breath, the kind that actually reaches the bottom of your lungs, because I know you’ve been breathing shallow for years just trying to keep the air still around you.

I’ve been where you are. I spent years trying to be the "perfect rib." I thought if I just supported him a little harder, held the house together a little tighter, and anticipated every storm before it hit us, he’d eventually notice the sacrifice and start shielding me, too.

But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: You cannot be a partner to someone who treats you like a safety net.

It's not just us regular girls. You see what’s happening with Meg and Klay Thompson? It is the "unprotected rib" story playing out on a global stage, and it is a masterclass in why you have to stop pouring your spirit into people who only see you as a temporary place to rest.

Megan did what we’ve all been taught to do. She was the rib. She sat courtside, she supported him through a move to the Mavericks, and by her own words, she held him down through "horrible mood swings" during his season. She was his peace when his stats were dropping and his star was fading. She "played house" with his family, offering him the kind of stability and nurturing that money can’t buy.

And what did she get for it? She got a man who, after all that labor, decided he didn't know if he could be "monogamous." She got "cold feet" from someone whose path she had just spent a year smoothing.

But the part that makes my blood boil—and what I want you to pay attention to—is what happened the second she stood up for herself.

The moment she spoke her truth about the cheating, a swarm of men flocked to social media to degrade her. They called her "the problem." They brought up her past, they mocked her pain, and they celebrated Klay as if he’d won a championship just for "getting away" with it. You see them on the timelines—grown men, celebrities even, laughing about how he used her to boost his status and then tossed her aside.

It’s a specific kind of vitriol, honey. It’s misogynoir. They hate to see a powerful, dark-skinned woman demand respect. They want her to be the "strong Black woman" who suffers in silence, who "fixes" a man and then disappears when he’s done with her. They are mad that she dared to say, "I need a REAL break after this one."

I need you to hear me: If the world will treat a woman as successful, beautiful, and kind as Megan Thee Stallion like she is "disposable" after she’s given her all, what makes you think your silence will protect you?

When people talk about the rib, they talk about it being close to the heart. But if he isn’t protecting you, your heart is constantly exposed.

In my own marriage, I can remember the feeling of watching him scroll through his phone while I was drowning in the kids' schedules and a full-time job. It’s a quiet, cold kind of lonely. You aren’t just doing the work; you’re doing the work of two people while the person next to you acts like a guest in their own life.

Nurturing is a beautiful thing, mama, but it has to be a two-way street. If you are the only one serving, you aren't a wife; you’re an unpaid concierge. A rib is meant to protect the vitals, but it’s part of a system. If the rest of the body isn't doing its job to keep the rib healthy, the rib gets brittle. It breaks. And let me tell you, when I finally broke, I realized the only person who was going to pick up the pieces was me.

It took me getting divorced at 40 with three kids to realize that I’d rather be "alone" and only carry my own weight than be "married" and carry the weight of a man who didn't care if I was tired.

You are stronger than you think, but you shouldn't have to be this strong. You deserve a soft place to land, too. If he won't provide it, you have to start building it for yourself—with or without him.

Stop dating "potential." Don't date a man because you think your love can be his lighthouse. If he is at his lowest and you are the only one lifting him up, who is lifting you?

The internet is full of men cheering for Klay right now because they see women as tools to be used and discarded. Don't you ever let yourself be a tool. You are the architect. If he can't protect the rib, he doesn't deserve the body.

You take a page out of Meg’s book. You walk away with your head high, you prioritize your peace, and you let the "moody" men and their choir of internet trolls stay in the basement where they belong. You’re a stallion, honey. Stop trying to carry a man who’s content to stay on the ground.