Back in 2009, when life was GOOD GOOD... everything was looking up and I somehow laughed of Sir Katt Williams' sound advice of "taking care of your star player!" I mean WTF?!! Another Monday. Another 4:30 AM alarm that feels less like a wake-up call and more like a gentle nudge off a cliff. The kind of cliff where the fall isn't painful, just... endless. You know the feeling, right? The kids are still asleep, thank God. Their little faces so full of dreams, and demands are

Listen, I’ve been where you are. I’ve been single since my divorce six years ago, and let me tell you, these streets are sounding real inviting right now. In six years, I’ve had exactly two "situations" that lasted about as long as a carton of milk in July. (Milk doesn’t last that long by the way)  And about 16 other guys that didn’t even get past a week of  "Good morning, beautiful" before I edited his contact to DNA, followed by a lifetime of "Who is this?" if they happen

Let’s be clear: I am a woman. I am a mother. I am "Ma," "Mommy," "Hey girl!" and "Excuse me, ma'am, I can't get past" more often than I’d like to admit. I’ve got the curves, sometimes a bonnet, and a purse full of old receipts, lip-glosses, earrings, role on parfum and peanut-free snacks to prove my femininity. But lately? In this season of solo-parenting, corporate-climbing, and being the sole provider, protector, and plumber of this household? I am feeling suspiciously masc

Right after Christmas, I was walking through Walmart. And if you know me... y'all KNOW I'm going to the clearance section FIRST!! OKAY! Anytime I'm shopping I sort "Low to High..." not paying full price for nothing... well for most stuff. But anyways... EVERYTHING was on sale, and I almost walked right past it tucked in the corner of the bottom row: There it was: AUDACITY!! I knew it was on sale most of the year... but NOW, it was on CLEARANCE!! Buy one, get ten free—a

Now tell me WHY in the world are you at the window at McDonald's shuffling through debit cards trying to buy a breakfast combo?!! You knew you didn't have "McDonald's money" when you pulled in!! Come on now, this is one of the very first lessons in financial literacy we learned as children... or at least in my household! Look, I'm 44, and if there's one thing I’ve learned about grown folks, it’s that a whole lot of y'all did not listen to your mama. I see it every day. But

We’re tired. Exhausted  from hearing the same old story every time a sister upgrades her life, her standards, and her look. You finally get your money right, your body tight, your edges laid, and your mind sharp, and suddenly the struggle bus pulls up with some man whispering the tired line: “You’re too high maintenance for me.” We gotta shut that down. Right now. The truth is, honey, demanding excellence from a partner doesn't mean you're  too much. It means he is simply not

If I could gather all the "friends" I used to claim back in my 20's and early 30's, I could fill up a whole stadium. And you know what the truth is? About 80% of those folks were wearing a title that was just way too big for them. Now that I’m in my fabulous forties, I’ve learned a thing or two about labeling people in my life, and let me tell you, discernment is peace. We mislabel people all the time, and that mislabeling is the express train to disappointment. Don't get me

I didn't misspell a damn thing!! The air is getting crisp. The leaves have fallen. But forget the pumpkins, plunging temperatures, and the basic people yelling "sweater weather', the real seasonal shift is happening in the EMOTIONAL ecosystem. The siren son of Cuffing season has begun its annual, deeply predictable wail. Now, listen up. I'm a grown woman. I done paid my dues, living in my own damn house, and perfected my Sunday self-care routine. And you want me to believ

It's the day after Thanksgiving, and while I'm trying to hold true to the culture and boycott Black Friday, I was out in them retail streets today. Just to get some groceries... but I was in them streets! The only difference between yesterday and today is that I can officially get on the "Christmas Season" bandwagon. It's not like I could help it if I tried. The Christmas music is playing, all the sales, and all the decorations are OUT. And looming in my red Christmas st

Somebody hold my purse, cause y'all might want to fight after this… but we going to have this little come-to-Jesus moment, just us girls. (even though this applies to the fellas too!) I’m scrolling through my feed, and I see y’all posting these flawless brunch pictures, these "soft life" affirmations, and these perfectly manicured nails. (And it don’t matter if they’re press on or not!)   Hair coifed to the Gods, eyebrows on fleek, and lashes cat-TF-eyed!! (I’m a cluster girl

Can we get real about the holidays right quick?  And I aint talking about who cooking, who making the mac and cheese or if we should fry the bird!!  I’m talking about straight up peace and how that means if your plus one going to work my nerves, you and that heffa need to stay home and eat that dry ass Bob Evans!!  Catch that shade if you must.  I’m protecting my inner peace. Every November, really October we start meticulously planning what we going to eat but we should star

America just doesn’t feel right. Let me be clear: we are not okay. I want to say America is really fucked up right now with all the bullshit going on, but Akira has trusted me to be somewhat responsible, so we’ll stick with the former: we are not okay. I’m not talking about my personal drama, thank God, I’m really straight on that. (Besides the everyday nuances of raising three very different children with a crappy coparent, I’m generally at peace.) No, I’m talking about that

Lord, sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, in the ring cam, or in a store window as I walk past and I just… wonder. Not...

The Hope Trap So... we didn't get raptured! I laughed and joked about this whole rapture thing, until I had the thought "Now what are...

Let's just be real for a second. The world is a circus right now, and we're all just trying to get a spot in the cheap seats before the...

Graduation announcements started arriving a few weeks ago. Each one a glossy declaration of a journey completed, a new chapter about to...

I had to hard check myself, as I made plans for tacos and margaritas with my bestie for Cinco De Mayo. Cinco de Mayo has become just...

Motherhood transcends the boundaries of race, culture, creed, and sometimes biology. It's a symphony of love, sacrifice, and unwavering...

Y’all Mother's Day is looming, and my frustration is already sky-high.   Now, don't get it twisted; I LOVE my mama. She's my mama and...

Dread. Jealousy. Unfairness. Pain. Envy. Anger. The first tendrils of it start in late April. A casual mention of "Mother's Day" in...