I'm not okay, OKAY!!

America just doesn’t feel right. Let me be clear: we are not okay.

I want to say America is really

fucked up right now with all the bullshit going on, but Akira has trusted me to be somewhat responsible, so we’ll stick with the former: we are not okay.

I’m not talking about my personal drama, thank God, I’m really straight on that. (Besides the everyday nuances of raising three very different children with a crappy coparent, I’m generally at peace.) No, I’m talking about that deep, soul-level feeling that the floor is shifting beneath us. The cost of just existing—the groceries, the rent, utilities, insurance, the fear of a medical bill—it feels like a relentless weight. Like that nagging numbing feeling I now rub out of my knees sometimes before I stand up in the morning.  Something is going on… it just hasn’t caused me any major trouble YET. 

We were supposed to be the generation that finished the climb. We got the degrees, we worked the overtime, we played by the rules. But the ladder is broken, and honestly, the air up here is thin and polluted. For me and for many of my friends, this kind of systemic stress—this constant uncertainty about what basic life security looks like—it feels new. It feels like a betrayal of the promise we were given.  The feeling of things being “not okay” isn't just emotion; it is a rational, evidence-based response to a clear breakdown in the social contract. Clearly, we must’ve missed the rapture, cause what the hell?! We are witnessing the convergence of multiple, cascading systemic failures that demand intellectual rigor, not just outrage, to dissect.  So let me break it down.

My generation bought into the promise: education equals opportunity. Yet, we are now navigating a reality defined by wage stagnation and hyper-inflation in essential sectors like nutrition, housing and healthcare. We ain't talking about a tight budget; I’m talking about an active erosion of economic mobility. For most minorities, especially me as a black woman, who entered this economic race decades behind due to inherited structural inequity (yep I’m talking about slavery, Jim Crow, and all the other oppressions fuel by greed: the force behind White Supremacy… F-U pay me #Reparations) , the current system is not a hurdle—it is a treadmill set to an impossible speed, and you about to break your neck if someone doesn’t come to save you.  The inability to achieve basic, stable middle-class life is the predictable outcome of a system prioritizing capital over human welfare. It used to just be a threat and if I’m honest with y'all, I've been down before.  A COUPLE of times!!  But not my kids. I got time to go back and forth with adults… and I ain't scared of too much. My achilles heel; that one fear creeping up my neck ain't for me—it’s worry for my kids' future!!  Parental Anxiety - Mind you, it’s not new under the sun. It's the same bitter song, just with a different beat. And I see it in other mothers, other caretakers, dads too… It’s the look that says, "I am genuinely afraid for my kids."

As adults, we analyze the system, we critique the broken contracts, and we rage at the unfairness of it all. But when I lie down at night, and the intellectual prowess fades, all that’s left is the raw, visceral fear that all this mess—the constant struggle—is going to damage the three human beings I love more than life itself.  The uncertainty of will we be okay or will I have to choose between putting gas in the tank and buying groceries. Will I be able to afford private school tuition for my oldest…then college, or that my youngest sees too much tension in my shoulders. We carry the weight of the nation’s failures, and sometimes, it feels like the debt is going to be paid by our children’s futures. Real talk!

So here is my truth for us today: sorry Akira, America is f#cked up.  Yes, this is harder than it should be. Thank God we are the children of survivors and we are built with that same resilience. And we have compassion, and empathy, and we know how to stretch both a meal and a dollar. 

Insert long heavy sigh** Say it with me... "That bout it sh$t , we started that sh&t... I'm a no Limit Soldier for Life."... or whatever Jesus said. (Father forgive me) Oh shoot, I'm off brand: "You a paper chaser, you got the block on fire..." Nevermind.... Listen: We are not going to sink into despair. We are going to grieve the loss of that easy future, and then we are going to do what our parents did: We stay the course. We love our kids fiercely, we look out for our neighbors, we protect our peace, and we push back against the darkness every chance we get.